The Greatful Dead totally nailed it...

I can't remember the exact stages of grieving, but I am pretty sure is goes something like... DENIAL...ANGER...BARGAINING...SADNESS...ACCEPTANCE.

The trick is recognizing where you are on the whole scale of stages. I think I'm still somewhere in the middle.

We just got back from spending a week in El Paso looking for a house. I decided I better go into it with really low expectations. It works for movies! So I'm picturing tumbleweeds and cracked dirt and snakes and stuff. Then we get all these picts of houses from the realtor that's supposed to be helping us and my vision turns to swimming pools and palm trees and Mexican resorts with strawberry daiquiris.

After the first day of checking things out and getting the lay of the land, I spent the rest of the night huggin the bowl at the downtown Marriott! Straight up!!!

I just don't think it's a good sign when people have bars on all their windows and doors! And I'm not so sure how comfortable I am with letting my kids ride their bikes outside when I can see the freaking border!

Day two was spent primarily looking at the West side (where all the swimming pools are). My Mexican Riviera bubble burst when I walked IN the houses. I'm going to sound like the biggest brat, but when it looks like somebody couldn't make up their mind whether they wanted the stove or the dishwasher in a certain spot and they ripped them out and swapped them back and forth a few times it's really not a good sign! I can deal with bad carpet (really big rugs). I can force myself to do super dirty (strap on the rubber gloves and go to town)!But what do you do when floors slope down? And why on earth would someone put pink and baby blue marbled tile in their entire house? What exactly do termites look like? Lots of questions I haven't thought about since I worked for DCFS!

We did nothing for the next four days but SEARCH! PONDER! and PRAY! Joe lost 10 lbs and I lost 5! In four days!

We decided that out of the two of us, I would make a better coach! I am really good at pep talks and making up bull crap that is totally believable :)! We took turns lifting each other up and pointing out the bright side of the situation. It was a real bonding experience!

This morning I thought I would try to find out some more info on El Paso and I found some lyrics to a song by The Greatful Dead entitled "El Paso"...

Here goes...

Out in the west Texas town of El Paso....

Just for a moment I stood there in silence,
Shocked by the ....
Many thoughts that ran through my mind as I stood there;
I had but one chance and that was to run.

Out through the back door of roses I ran, out where the horses were tied...
I picked a good one; he looked like he could run,
Up on his back and away I did ride.

Just as fast as I could from the west texas town of el paso,
Out thru the badlands of new mexico.
Back in el paso my life would be worthless; ....

Maybe tomorrow a bullet may find me,
Tonight nothings worse than this pain in my heart.

And as last here I am on the hill overlooking el paso, ....

Off to my right I see five mounted cowboys,
Off to my left ride a dozen or more.
Shouting and shooting; I can't let them catch me,
I've got to make it to roses back door.

Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel a deep burning pain in my side
It's getting harder to stay in the saddle.
I'm getting weary, unable to ride.

Yeah, super dramatic! But it made me laugh! Maybe that's a good sign that I'm headed for the acceptance stage :)???

Truthfully, I still think that we are doing the right thing. It's a great job for Joe and he likes it! The schools have rockin programs for kids with dyslexia! The City of Commerce web page "says" that the sun shines there at least 300 days of the year! I didn't see any snakes. And I got rid of a whole ton of crap that's been taking up space in my house!

Something else I found this morning was the meaning of the city name. It means "the step". At first I was like... that's dumb! Then that cheesy quote about a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step came to mind. I know I have a lot to learn. Change is never easy, but the greatest blessings rarely start out looking that way!

RIGHT?????